I was wondering if he would call me back.
And he did.
This morning, I talked to my Dad after well, I don’t remember how many years.
He was hesitant, slightly awkward sounding, but yet anxious to talk. He proceeded to tell me he had been busy the day before going door to door, giving a talk (Jehovah’s Witness language for preaching) in the evening, and had missed seeing my call until later at night.
We talked about my message that we had moved.
Mid discussion, I prayed for the right words. I prayed for what I needed.
Compassion is what Jesus gave me. Compassion, and the confidence to speak boldly in love.
I heard sadness when he told me that he still loves me and thinks of me, and that it’s just a shame.
I could sense a tired man in his 80’s. I could hear the sadness, but also a holding on to a life of what he believes.
As gently and lovingly as I could I told him I loved him too, but that he needed to understand that any of my past sins have been forgiven and forgotten by Jesus and they are gone and in the past, and it was too bad he didn’t feel that way too.
He mentioned something about yes, God sits in judgment of us, and that he does say he will forgive us.
I told him Christ forgave me years ago, and I was secure in that belief. I was good about it. I wish he felt that way too. God sits in judgment, not men, or more importantly religious organizations. That was something he would had to come to grips with.
He started talking about other things. Pleasantries, like the weather, and how his sister, my aunt was doing.
When he said he thought of me over the years, I told him that I thought of him too, and while I may have wanted to call him or talk to him before I didn’t. I didn’t because I felt like I was honoring his statements of no contact. But that part of me wanted to just call anyway because I don’t agree with his position. So I felt like I was honoring his wishes but I did not agree with it. This also was something he had to come to grips with.
It was like our roles were reversed, where at one time I would have been quiet and listened while he talked; now I was bold.
A few more pleasantries, and then the conversation ended.
I’m not looking back on what else I could have or might have said.
What will become of this? I don’t know.
But I know who does.
Thank you for giving me a glimpse of seeing through your eyes.
Forgive me when I look just through mine at those around me……..including my Dad.
This is in your hands.
I trust you.
In Jesus name,